HOW I BALANCE LIFE & KIDS AND MAKE TIME FOR MY HUSBAND

It's not the first time I get the question... "how do you balance home life, work and two kids and still make time for your husband?" and the answer isn't that simple actually. It definitely gets hard sometimes but it's totally manageable. You just have to get creative and want to make the time. For me, my husband is top priority and I am his and we like it like that, it works for us. This mentality has helped us preserve our attraction, love and affection for each other for the past 15 years (10 years married).

For us, our time together is essential. Whether we spend time alone at home or going out, we make the time. I know life gets crazy some days and having kids is stressful and very busy but the key is to remind yourself that when the kids are adults and off to make their own lives, the only people left in your home will be the two of you. Are you making sure that you and your spouse still like each other? That you enjoy spending time with each other without the children? That you are more than mom and dad? Have you even thought about that? I've seen in happen in real life and on TV, that once the kids leave the house, so many marriages dissolve... for so many reasons; nothing in common, were just holding off for the kids or simply that the love is no longer there or they no longer even like each other. Possibly because neither party spent the time nourishing the relationship. Relationships are very hard and a constant work in progress. You are two different people making ONE life together. Read that again... it's hard.  
But marriage is like a plant... you have to nourish is and water it and take care of it in order for it to grow. Dave and I are very much on top of keeping each other happy and keeping the flame on and up. Besides respect, love and communication, I personally believe attraction is key. And we both work on all of these constantly because we love each other and enjoy each other. We prioritize our date nights and we make sure that we keep each other on our toes. For example, we take turns planning one special date night a month, the last one I planned was the cooking class. Being completely transparent, there have been many times were I feel that Dave slacks off and doesn't plan something unless I remind him and yes I get annoyed but as soon as I communicate it to him, he plans something for us to do. This is probably one of the things that Dave does that annoys me the most: he's not the planner of this relationship... I am. Yup. I am such a planner and as he says I am really good at it! ::insert eye roll here::

But that doesn't mean we only go out alone once in that month, we take EVERY chance we get to go out; friends' birthdays, dinners, whatever it is, we are there. To be honest, a big part of that is my mother. She is so great to us and is always down to watch the kids. My family is very close to us and they adore our children so they never say no to staying with them, if anything is the complete opposite, they ask me to bring them. So I would say that's the biggest plus. 

If you don't have family around to watch the kids, you still have options girlfriend. Remember more people than not do not have family that live near by and they still make it work. Find a trusty babysitter just for weekends. Outsource as much as you can, even if it's just one night a month, make it work! I feel that most of the time, we simply don't ask. I am such an "asker" (if that's a word?) and honestly one of the reasons I achieve my goals is because I always ASK. Whomever, for whatever I want or need. The worse you can get is a no. Remember, your relationship should be top priority, make it work! Ask your brother, sister, cousin, suegra, bestie, whomever you trust with your kids. 

And if it gets too hard to go out because you have absolutely no one at all... girlfriend, get creative! At home dates are as fun, way less expensive and you can get super creative. Put the kids to bed, order fun or fancy food... open up the bottle of wine and have your date night with your boo, honey! Trust me, prioritizing your relationship is very possible. You just have to try and make sh*t happen for yourself. As long as two people are attracted to each other, love each other and are willing to put time and effort in your relationship, then you are already doing it sis. I am not saying it's easy but if you start to make date nights a priority on your calendar, believe me life gets sweeter. 
If you need some fun date ideas, I share this and this in the past. I hope this post gets you all inspired and excited to make time with your spouse a priority. Now get to planning it's almost the weekend! 

Xo,
Erika