and share what I do to try to manage those two very big part of my life.
I'll share things that work for me and my family, remember all families are different and these are just suggestions but you can adjust them to your needs and your children's needs. As some of you may know, 4 months ago I started a part-time job, so I currently work the part time job Monday thru Friday and I am also blogging full time, blogging is a 24/7 job! So I have 2 jobs:) and honestly I love having a few hours to do something different and of course the extra money is nice. Us women are multi-taskers by nature and though it is very stressful at times, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love being busy and I love doing things out of a routine. It fuels me.
OUTSOURCE
I remember the days I didn't know what the heck to do and how to handle it all. I honestly didn't know how to manage the house, my marriage, motherhood and blogging full time. I was simply winging it day in and day out. About a year ago, a light shined upon me and I finally started working smarter not harder. I hired people to help me, whether it's at home or in my business I finally was able to let go of some of my responsibilities and have people help me.
One of my flaws is that I am controlling and I am not ashamed to admit it. I like to have control over everything and that's not good, because it tears you down and it's stressful. I never wanted to hand out my tasks to anyone else because I believed I could do it all, on my own. And that is still true, I can do it all just not on my own. I do believe it takes a village and I am proud to say that hiring people to help me has helped me enjoy motherhood, my blog and life alot more.
When I talk about outsourcing, it's not just hiring professional help, it's also asking my family; mom, cousins and aunts for help. They help me with the kids, ALOT. There used to be a time when I didn't like asking for help because I didn't want to bother anyone but they are more than happy to help me and they truly love being with my children. I feel blessed and grateful to have my family, without them I wouldn't be able to do what I love and I never take it for granted. If you are able to, ask for help. If you don't have family nearby, maybe a friend or neighbor, someone that you can count on and trust with your children 100%.
SCHEDULES
One thing that works for me is keeping the kids on a schedule. Ben goes to bed a 8pm every night, no excuses. And Emme is in bed by 9ish. Emme still naps every single day and I make sure that she takes her nap because it helps me (and my mom) do whatever we need to do during those 2 hours that she sleeps. Try schedules for your kids, they are life savers. They will keep you better organized and give you some sense of peace for a couple hours a day.
If your kids are not on a schedule (because all kids are different) try starting one, it's never too late. Kids like routines and once you get into a routine, life will become so much easier. Stick to a time frame, dinner at 6, baths at 7, in bed by 8. Once Ben is asleep I am able to work and write and answer emails quietly and in peace.
MOM GUILT
If you are a mom, you've felt the "mom guilt". It happens to all of us and whoever says they've never felt like a shitty mom before is most likely lying. I try to limit my mom guilt to a minimum, keyword: TRY. I try to tell myself I am doing the best that I can and that my children, are in fact, very happy and healthy children. But that I have to work and I have to spend time with adults and that's ok. My advice is to make sure you schedule time out for the kids and solely focus on them. Take them to the movies, bowling, play dates, get them on your agenda too! This way you will know you are spending quality and fun time with them.
HAVE YOUR PARTNER HELP
Besides the village that it takes, it's always helpful when you have your husband, boyfriend, fiance, or partner help you. Even today, when I am trying to finish up this post. Dave came from work, we had dinner, I played with the kids and I told everyone I am going to my office because I have to finish writing. Dave is very supportive and proud of my work and he has helped me grow as a blogger in more ways than one. For me, it's important to have his help because it makes things easier for me because I know he is a hands-on father.
If you are a single mom, that's ok too. Think of all the single moms (my mom was one!) who busted their booties off and worked all day. Going back to my point earlier, maybe ask your mom, good friend, neighbor to come by and watch the kids while you write or edit. Or by setting a schueld you can also write and work on you blog when the kids go to sleep. There's always a way:)
TIME FOR YOU
The key to balancing my life between motherhood and work is to make time for myself. Self care is absolutely the most important part of this equation. Girl... listen, you have to love your self and you have to be happy... you know that saying "happy wife, happy life"? it's out there for a reason and I am glad my husband is a supporter of that thought.
I realized quickly after having Ben that I need my time and I need to care for myself in order to be the best mom and wife I can be. Now that I blog full time, working is part of that equation too. Motherhood, marriage, work life... all fuel on your energy and your happiness and your power to get sh*t done.
Take care of yourself, your mind and your body. Whether that means getting some free time to read a book, getting a pedicure, a 10-minute facial, a night out with your girls... or boo, get that time in babes. That's the key and that's the balance.
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